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post #1 of 5 Old 09-25-2014, 06:45 PM Thread Starter
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Harley Biker

HARLEY BIKER

A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and bravest thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'

The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?'

The biker replies "I'm a Navy Seal, and a Republican". The then journalist leaves.The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:

NAVY SEAL ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH


...... and THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days......
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post #2 of 5 Old 09-26-2014, 11:05 AM
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A Harley biker was well know for is contributions to charities, his willingness to go to any lengths to help others, and or his compassion for the less fortunate. Because of his lifetime of dedication to others God came down to him.

God said, "Sir, you are all that I could ever want any person to be and in appreciation for all that you've done for others I want to grant you one wish. What would you like?"

Biker, "I'd really love to have a paved highway from the mainland to Hawaii as I've always wanted to ride my Harley there."

God, "That's pretty hard for me to do. Do you have another possible wish?"

Biker, "Well, I'd really like to understand what goes on in my wife's mind."

God, "How many lanes do you want for that highway?"




Always remember that for every mile of highway there are two miles of ditches.
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post #3 of 5 Old 09-26-2014, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Street500owner2 View Post
...... and THAT pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days......


On the flip-side the Fox News Headline:


PRESIDENT OBAMA IGNORING AFRICAN THREAT TO AMERICA




Always remember that for every mile of highway there are two miles of ditches.
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post #4 of 5 Old 09-26-2014, 11:34 AM
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Fortunately people have smartened up about their views of mainstream media, most are aware of how much BS gets put on them.
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post #5 of 5 Old 09-27-2014, 12:17 PM
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Sisters of st. Francis

A Harley rider is riding down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the comer of his eye..It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and rides on without a second thought...Soon he sees another sign, which says:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES
GAS STOP 5 MILES

Suddenly, he realizes that these signs are for real...Then he rides past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His instinct gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive....On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He locks his bike, climbs the steps and rings the bell....The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?"....

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."....
"Very well, my son. Please follow me," ....
He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented....The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door"....
He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door.....This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway"....
He gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup...He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.....As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign:


GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED
BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
THE NEXT GAS STOP IS 10 MILES
THE OTHER WAY.




Always remember that for every mile of highway there are two miles of ditches.
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